Xerox the World and Call It My Life

When it comes to minor illnesses, there are two types.

Wed, 22 May 2013 00:36:10 -0400

There’s cute sick and there’s ugly sick.

Cute sick is when you have the common cold and you get all sniffly and shivery and maybe have a sore throat. You curl up with a blanket and a cup of tea and don’t leave your bed all day. Maybe you read a book or instagram your tea or post on facebook about how you hate being sick, and people sympathize with you and offer to make you soup and take care of you.

Ugly sick is when you eat something that disagrees with you and you have a slurry of what I like to call “Pepto-Bismol problems”: nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, and, most importantly, diarrhea. You spend all day on the toilet with a can of air freshener, and every time you do get up, you walk around hunched over because of the searing pain in your gut. When you’re ugly sick, you’re on your own. Nobody wants to read a facebook status about your bowel movements, and you probably can’t even yell for somebody to bring you more toilet paper or imodium because then you’d be openly admitting that you’re having some awful diarrhea, and you don’t want the first thing that people associate you with to be irritable bowels (though they can probably smell it anyway).

But no one has a perfect colon. Even the Queen of England probably gets diarrhea sometimes. So if you’re ever ugly sick and you want someone to comfort you (without going into specifics), just know that I will sympathize with you.

Netflix will probably crash in 5 days.

Tue, 21 May 2013 00:41:30 -0400

cek0913: This scene is what made this movie for me, and why it...

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:00:19 -0400

cek0913:

This scene is what made this movie for me, and why it is one of my absolute favorite films

Ditto.

wilwheaton: I really hope Yahoo doesn’t fuck up Tumblr like it’s fucked up … well, every single...

Sun, 19 May 2013 19:00:02 -0400

wilwheaton:

I really hope Yahoo doesn’t fuck up Tumblr like it’s fucked up … well, every single thing it’s ever touched in the history of the universe.

If they put ads in I’m done.

0live-0il: Fact.

Sat, 18 May 2013 22:08:45 -0400

0live-0il:

Fact.

Today's Swagbucks daily poll question was "Have you ever completed a game of Monopoly?"

Fri, 17 May 2013 01:19:08 -0400

And apparently the overwhelming majority of people actually finish their Monopoly games?

I literally have never completed a game of Monopoly. I don’t even know what has to happen for it to end. I’ve rarely ever even made it to the point where people have enough money to build things on their property. I honestly cannot imagine playing Monopoly long enough to actually finish it.

Of course, this could have something to do with the fact that the Monopoly set we had when I was a kid didn’t have any instructions, so we knew the basic rules but always just made up the specific details (like how much money you get at the beginning) however we wanted.

"A List of “Men’s Rights” Issues That Feminism Is Already Working On Feminists do not want you to..."

Fri, 17 May 2013 00:08:58 -0400

“

A List of “Men’s Rights” Issues That Feminism Is Already Working On

Feminists do not want you to lose custody of your children. The assumption that women are naturally better caregivers is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not like commercials in which bumbling dads mess up the laundry and competent wives have to bustle in and fix it. The assumption that women are naturally better housekeepers is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to have to make alimony payments. Alimony is set up to combat the fact that women have been historically expected to prioritize domestic duties over professional goals, thus minimizing their earning potential if their “traditional” marriages end. The assumption that wives should make babies instead of money is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want anyone to get raped in prison. Permissiveness and jokes about prison rape are part of rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want anyone to be falsely accused of rape. False rape accusations discredit rape victims, which reinforces rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to be lonely and we do not hate “nice guys.” The idea that certain people are inherently more valuable than other people because of superficial physical attributes is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to have to pay for dinner. We want the opportunity to achieve financial success on par with men in any field we choose (and are qualified for), and the fact that we currently don’t is part of patriarchy. The idea that men should coddle and provide for women, and/or purchase their affections in romantic contexts, is condescending and damaging and part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to be maimed or killed in industrial accidents, or toil in coal mines while we do cushy secretarial work and various yarn-themed activities. The fact that women have long been shut out of dangerous industrial jobs (by men, by the way) is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to commit suicide. Any pressures and expectations that lower the quality of life of either gender are part of patriarchy. The fact that depression is characterized as an effeminate weakness, making men less likely to seek treatment, is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to be viewed with suspicion when you take your child to the park (men frequently insist that this is a serious issue, so I will take them at their word). The assumption that men are insatiable sexual animals, combined with the idea that it’s unnatural for men to care for children, is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to be drafted and then die in a war while we stay home and iron stuff. The idea that women are too weak to fight or too delicate to function in a military setting is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want women to escape prosecution on legitimate domestic violence charges, nor do we want men to be ridiculed for being raped or abused. The idea that women are naturally gentle and compliant and that victimhood is inherently feminine is part of patriarchy.

Feminists hate patriarchy. We do not hate you.

If you really care about those issues as passionately as you say you do, you should be thanking feminists, because feminism is a social movement actively dedicated to dismantling every single one of them. The fact that you blame feminists—your allies—for problems against which they have been struggling for decades suggests that supporting men isn’t nearly as important to you as resenting women. We care about your problems a lot. Could you try caring about ours?

”

- Autostraddle (via notaprincessdestinedtobeawitch)

Guys. You need to read this.

(via abaldwin360)
(x)

Need to show this to FTD girls…

Fri, 17 May 2013 00:03:02 -0400

Need to show this to FTD girls…

dreamingofdragons: lickypickystickyme: If grandmothers around...

Thu, 16 May 2013 23:58:31 -0400

dreamingofdragons:

lickypickystickyme:

If grandmothers around the world had a rallying cry, it would probably sound something like “You need to eat!”

Photographer Gabriele Galimberti’s grandmother said something similar to him before one of his many globetrotting work trips. To ensure he had at least one good meal, she prepared for him a dish of ravioli before he departed on one of his adventures.

“In that occasion I said to my grandma ‘You know, Grandma, there are many other grandmas around the world and most of them are really good cooks,” Galimberti wrote via email. “I’m going to meet them and ask them to cook for me so I can show you that you don’t have to be worried for me and the food that I will eat!’ This is the way my project was born!”

The project, “Delicatessen With Love”, took Galimberti to 58 countries where he photographed grandmothers with both the ingredients and finished signature dishes.

He acted as photographer and stylist during each shoot with the grandmothers, taking a portrait of both the women and the food they made for him.

From top to bottom:

Inara Runtule, 68, Kekava, Latvia. Silke (herring with potatoes and cottage cheese).

Grace Estibero, 82, Mumbai, India. Chicken vindaloo.

Susann Soresen, 81, Homer, Alaska. Moose steak.

Serette Charles, 63, Saint-Jean du Sud, Haiti. Lambi in creole sauce.

The photographer’s grandmother Marisa Batini, 80, Castiglion Fiorentino, Italy. Swiss chard and ricotta Ravioli with meat sauce.

Normita Sambu Arap, 65, Oltepessi (Masaai Mara), Kenya. Mboga and orgali (white corn polenta with vegetables and goat).

Julia Enaigua, 71, La Paz, Bolivia. Queso Humacha (vegetables and fresh cheese soup).

Fifi Makhmer, 62, Cairo, Egypt. Kuoshry (pasta, rice and legumes pie).

Isolina Perez De Vargas, 83, Mendoza, Argentina. Asado criollo (mixed meats barbecue).

Bisrat Melake, 60, Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Enjera with curry and vegetables.

I. LOVE. ETHNIC. FOOD.

Can I just point out that the Argentine grandmother served this asado with tomatoes? We do this in Argentina, and I have no idea why. We serve everything with a side of tomatoes or ensalada de zanahorias (which is seriously just grated carrots tossed with oil, vinegar, and salt). The big fat black sausage on the left is morcilla, which is essentially blood sausage, and I wouldn’t be surprised if there were some kind of intestines on that plate. It’s hard to tell.

DONT H8 ON JAX

Thu, 16 May 2013 23:39:29 -0400

Umm, EXCUSE YOU.

Have you even been there? And were you sober the whole time?

Let me just throw out a few fun facts to remind you how déclassé Jacksonville is.

There is not a single goddamn escalator in the entire goddamn city. The only buildings that I can think of that even reach above one story are the hospital, city hall, and maybe a few of the schools (the oldest ones). J-ville has one of the worst cases of urban sprawl I’ve ever seen, and it’s only getting worse.
The 6th largest employer in the city (and the largest that is not involved in public services) is Walmart. Let that sink in. WALMART.
On top of that, the lack of small business and grassroots entrepreneurship in Jacksonville is despicable. The only new businesses that ever open are chain stores. Not to mention the Olive Garden is what passes for fine dining there.
I haven’t done quantitative research on this, but I’m pretty sure if there was a way to redistribute all of the unused parking spaces in Jacksonville, we could dramatically lower parking rates in Chicago (which notoriously has the most expensive parking in the country).
It’s a well-known supposition that the most popular car in Jacksonville is the Ford Mustang.
People in Jacksonville are shitty drivers (and you know which people I mean and they are mostly the drivers of Ford Mustangs) who have some pretty terrible road rage. I have anecdotal evidence to back up this claim.
Onslow County voted something like 72% in favor of Amendment One. Despicable. Just downright disgraceful, reprehensible, and detestable.
But what I really hate about Jacksonville, more than any other trashy small town/city in North Carolina, is that it has all the resources and projected growth it needs to improve itself and become a place of real cultural attraction, but instead it chooses to wallow in its own tackiness.

So yeah, I will continue to “H8” on “JAX” until my friends stop finding it easiest to convey what part of Jacksonville they’re in by telling me what strip club they just passed. And by the way, Jacksonville has a lot of nicknames, but “JAX” is not typically one of them. JAX is the airport code for Jacksonville, Florida, so whenever somebody uses it they are generally referring to the city in Florida (which I hear is much nicer than ours). Our airport code is OAJ, though I’d hardly call it an airport. It’s more like a field where some planes land and there’s a building with a cafeteria that is never open.

lilacid: niggaqueef: when you sat in a weird position for a long time and you move and then your...

Wed, 15 May 2013 23:42:28 -0400

lilacid:

niggaqueef:

when you sat in a weird position for a long time and you move and then your foot feels like this

most accurate description of anything accurate ever in the history of accuracy

all-about-male-privilege: sad-teeth: So today Angelina Jolie...

Tue, 14 May 2013 20:40:53 -0400

all-about-male-privilege:

sad-teeth:

So today Angelina Jolie had double mastectomy, which is the removal of one’s breasts, to prevent Breast cancer. So instead of praising Angelina on her bravery, men on Twitter decided to ridicule her, even calling her stupid for removing her breasts. For those of you on Tumblr that are attacking Feminists for being delusional about sexism against women and misogyny here’s your fucking proof that sexism and misogyny exists.

I just have no respect for people who take mirror pics.

Tue, 14 May 2013 02:25:19 -0400

They are the worst kind of selfies. Like, even if you have to turn the phone/camera around and do the extended arm and take the picture 5 times before you finally get yourself in the shot, it’s still better than taking it in a fucking mirror.

But most phones/cameras now come with a timer that you can set and just prop the phone/camera up somewhere to take a picture of yourself. Many phones also have dual front and rear-facing cameras so that you can hold the phone in your hand and see what you’re taking a picture of.

But really, why don’t you just get somebody else to take the picture? If the occasion is not worth bothering somebody for 5 seconds to take a picture, then it’s probably not worth photographing at all.

Photo

Tue, 14 May 2013 02:08:02 -0400

Photo

Mon, 13 May 2013 03:02:27 -0400

tugginc: She’s got every thing going for her. He’s going for...

Mon, 13 May 2013 03:01:07 -0400

tugginc:

She’s got every thing going for her. He’s going for her with every thing he’s got. Say Anything…(1989).

Photo

Mon, 13 May 2013 02:58:33 -0400

smath kid problems #158

Mon, 13 May 2013 02:42:39 -0400

smathproblems:

That one smug asshole who actually wears a Hawaiian shirt on Hawaiian Shirt Day.

Wait, is Hawaiian Shirt Day officially back? Yes!!!!

KCrom’s attempts to not offend Hawaiian people… yeah right, my ass.

Like, what is the point of Hawaiian Shirt Day if not to test the juniors? If you want to crossdress, you can do it any day and no one will judge you.

So. I got into NCSSM (congrats to your brother by the way). Anywho, I was wondering what happens after this point. You know, after welcome day. Is there any more filling out paperwork (please tell me no)? Any summer events? Thanks :).

Mon, 13 May 2013 01:02:45 -0400

You have all of your online stuff to fill out, like the roommate form and your work service form, but no paper-paperwork other than your intent to enroll form (which I think your school has to sign so that they know you won’t be attending there next year).

Then over the summer, some of the seniors’ parents will host summer socials in different areas around the state. They’re usually a potluck, so everybody brings a dish and you get the chance to meet and mingle with some of the people in your region who are going to NCSSM next year.

There’s also summer service. If you don’t have any big plans for this summer, then I would strongly encourage you to get your summer service done this summer rather than next, so that you don’t have to worry about it anymore. Make sure you take some pictures to put in the powerpoint!

Oh, and on Facebook there should be a group for junior/senior siblings. If you join/sign up for it, the moderator will pair you with a senior sibling of the opposite sex (usually, though sometimes the numbers don’t work out quite right), kind of like the big/little thing in sororities and fraternities. The idea is that you’ll meet plenty of other juniors in your classes, and you’ll meet seniors of your same sex on your hall, but this gives you a starting point to meet seniors of the opposite sex. It’s all about fostering as many connections between people as possible.

That’s all I can remember right now, but I’m always willing to answer more questions if anybody has them.

Racial Profiling in Fayetteville, NC Rapper Xstrav was arrested...

Sat, 11 May 2013 00:47:00 -0400

Racial Profiling in Fayetteville, NC

Rapper Xstrav was arrested last week for drinking an Arizona Iced Tea in the parking lot of a Fayetteville liquor store while filming footage for a music video.

He was charged with resisting an officer and trespassing. The charges have not yet been dropped. (more)